Happy Birthday Junior

i know i say this every year...but i can't believe another year has gone by and our little baby boy Junior would be 4 today!  sheesh....4 years.  here are just a couple fun things we did to celebrate!

 little brother Ty helped make the cupcakes

 big brother Blaine helped keep track of your balloons....we sent 4 balloons off this year to your party in heaven!!  we know he is probably having a good ol time with his cousins Jenny and Josh...and grandma's and grandpa's too.

 (the 4th balloon kind of got a head start)

 then we eat yummy cupcakes

 every year we also wear a baby blue ribbon in remembrance.

another thing we always do is go to BJ's for dinner.  {there is a BJ's close to the cemetary in CA}, since we knew Jake would be gone the night of Junior's actual birthday...flying to cali...we went out a dinner a couple nights before.

i am so grateful to my mom who was able to go visit Junior for us since we are no longer close by.  Grandma take care of us!

a couple thoughts this year....i wonder what we would be doing today with a 4 year old little boy?! probably playing cars, drawing pictures and maybe building legos.  maybe we would have gone to the park and played on the swings or he could have rode his bike along side of me around the lake.  he could maybe be playing hide and seek with Ty while Blaine was at school or watching his favorite movie like Toy Story or CARS...who knows....sometimes i just wonder.  but something that i wondered today that i have never really thought of before, was....i wonder if i will recognize him in heaven.  Before i have wondered what he would look like NOW...as a kid...but i wonder what he actually looks like...in heaven. and will i know him??  both of my boys look so different i don't know how he would have looked.  i truly hope i would recognize him.  maybe i will know him spiritually?!  i guess he will know who i am...i know he watches over us now....so he can help me out when the time comes. i don't know if any of this makes sense...sometimes my mind just doesn't make much sense.  i'm just grateful today for the knowledge and faith i have...and i know that i will see my baby again someday.  families are eternal...so they are stuck with me whether they like it or not.  i love all my boys and i'm so lucky to have them in my life.  i love you Junior and still miss you everyday.  you are still part of this family and always will be.  keep taking good care of us...xoxo